Dreams, decisions, instagram posts.

Hey there! I'm currently obsessed with AlunaGeorge - Attracting Flies, so let that one be an official song of the day on my blog cause it's brilliant. I'm leaving this to be a real thing on here. A song of the day each time I post something.

Soo, starting the very point of this blog post - my dreams are huge. I cannot even think about them without getting slightly too scared. Here's the thing - in my mind I feel like I so deserve to have great things going on in my life, I just do. But as a person who's been constantly put down by the others, I've lost all my confidence and as much as I know I DESERVE good moments, I am also too scared and self conscious to actually believe I'm gonna achieve something in life. It's not the hard work and the things I'd have to give up for the time being that I am so afraid of, hell no, I am really willing to work hard. It's the important decisions like whether to do a master's degree (and waste another two years of my life as well) or just give it up and stay with my bachelor's degree. Let's face it, I don't really think a master's degree in English-Russian applied linguistics will be something crucial in England and that is really where I want to be eventually.

I also don't feel the idea of being patriotic and staying in Poland. It's not the typical Polish situation here either. The truth is I am going to the UK this summer to make money, yes. But I am not a stereotypical Polish person who lives and works in England, sending all the money they make there to Poland, getting benefits in England and in Poland at the same time, not having any bloody idea what English is. I do know the English language. I know how to talk, I've always loved English, it's been my favourite subject ever since I started school. I love the ability of reading books or watching films without needing the translation. It's also cool to know what all the songs are about, helpfulhelpful. So I do speak English pretty well if you ask me, British youtubers helped me quite a lot, too. But anyway, I reckon this master's degree I am supposed to be doing is not really something essential. Besides, the main thing that uni did for me was giving me more anxiety and making me feel more and more depressed. I'm not even joking, applied linguistics is a really demanding faculty. I know thanks to having studied this one I'm kind of fluent in two languages, but still. Knowing how bad all this makes me feel, why would I even do it to myself, consciously? I mean, let's see how my English summer is and then it's decision time. But for now I don't really wanna force myself into doing this master's degree. I feel like it's gonna be a waste of time I could be already spending doing something that makes me closer to fulfilling my dreams.

And what are these exactly? I just want to be happy. Oh yes, what a cliché. But really, that's all I want. The things that make me happy are taking pictures, writing this, experimenting with my looks (thinking about dyeing my hair darker again, actually!), watching youtube videos. Why not create my own channel? It could be so much fun. I truly see how all my favourite people of youtube grow as a person (I mean, not as a one person obv :D). Plus, they've helped me so much, I wish I could have such influence on somebody's mood. I have things to say, I love photography. Let's see where it's heading. I don't wanna miss out on opportunities and I definitely do not want to force myself into doing anything I don't feel like doing. It's my life and I've spent the most of it pleasing others and feeling more and more anxious. Getting so shy. I want to open up, I want to feel good. Let's see how it goes, let's try, shall we?

Oh wow, it's been quite a rambly, long blog post, hasn't it? I feel like a yt video would've been a lot longer though, I'm really in a mood, I could talk and talk and talk, I'm so feeling this topic, I will actually consider having my youtube channel later. Soo, let's just end this post with some Instagram pictures I took. I edited them with VSCO filters. I hope you've enjoyed reading that. If you have (or not), please, leave a comment. Do you have any important decisions to make? Do you feel like it's time to change some things in your life? Let me know and see you next time! Bye! :)

Warsaw picture, enjoying walking around the Palace of Culture and Science in Warsaw with Izzy. :)

Another Warsaw picture, Izzy's favourite spot. I loved it pretty much, too, if you ask me. 

Bydgoszcz, by the Brda river, next to the best spot in the whole city - Mill Island. 

My bro is the best bro in the world cause he made this juice for me, love you! This one's nectarine, apple, banana and grapefruit. Yumm!

At my grandma's, I love photographing flowers. 

Herrrbs, salvia. A cool plant to take pictures of. 


  1. I hope you reach that state of mind sometime where you know what decision to make. I've always wanted to do too many things at once, because I was good at many things and not really amazing at anything. But I've always loved writing, it calms me down, it's my favorite pasttime and other people have always loved reading what I've written. My way with words is still my strongest weapon.
    Btw, I love the selection of Instagram pics!

  2. Amazing post,very well written and I enjoyed reading through it :)